Dancing With Your Red Dress On
by Buffy1987
Summary: Faith's in jail and she thinks about Buffy... An unexpected visitor brings her bad news and a few letters.


_If I close my eyes, and imagine you are here._ _  
_ _It'll last for awhile, before you disappear._ _  
_ _So I close my eyes, cause the only thing I fear_ _  
_ _Is waking up one day, forgetting you were ever here_

 _Darling, It's you I remember with your Red Dress on,_ _  
_ _Dancing in the moonlight till the break of dawn._ _  
_ _It's you I remember dancing with your Red Dress on_

Buffy's red dress she wore for Homecoming. It may have gotten dirty while she was fighting, but Faith still thought Buffy looked beautiful. The blondie wanted to leave when she and Cordy realized they didn't win the Homecoming Queen competition, but Faith couldn't let her go without grabbing at least one dance. Even all dirty and with messy hair, Buffy was easily the most beautiful girl there.

That dumbass Scott missed his chance, and Faith was happy when Buffy said yes to a dance with her. They danced slowly and Faith thought about kissing her, but wasn't brave enough to make such a big step… She didn't think Buffy felt that way for her and didn't wanna mess up their budding friendship somehow.

Still, she often thought about how it felt to dance with Buffy then, it was way different, more intimate than their wild dance at the Bronze before it all went to hell.

She was in jail now, and lately she just couldn't get Buffy out of her head.

 _And Baby it's you I remember when I hear that song,_ _  
_ _Singin' out the chorus till your voice was gone_ _  
_ _It's you I remember every time I hear that song_

 _Not a day goes by,without thinking that I see,_ _  
_ _your face in the crowd, turning away from me_ _  
_ _So the days go by, like a recurring dream_ _  
_ _Where every night ends with the same old memory_

 _And Baby it's you I remember when I hear that song,_ _  
_ _Singin' out the chorus till your voice was gone_ _  
_ _It's you I remember every time I hear that song_ __

 _Darling, It's you I remember with your Red Dress on,_ _  
_ _Dancing in the moonlight till the break of dawn._ _  
_ _It's you I remember dancing with your Red Dress on_ _  
_ _Dancing with your Red Dress on_

Yes, every night sure did end with the same old memory for Faith. Buffy was the last thing on her mind before falling asleep. Sometimes she thought about their fun times together, but her brain just loved going back to all the heartbreak of their fights. It was all happening in slow motion in Faith's head, she remembered every punch… and she remembered every accidental touch, every smile, every sexual innuendo, and every expression on Buffy's face- from entertainment, fear, disappointment, loathing, love? No, not love. Buffy never loved her, sadly. Things could have been different if she had loved her.

Swallowing hard, Faith closed her eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

The next morning she woke up feeling tired and she avoided contacts during breakfast. The other inmates learned when to leave her alone, and this morning no one bothered her.

She had her chores to do and as soon as she was done, she went back to her cell. Since she got to jail, Faith realized she liked reading. She read everything she could get her hands on. Books helped her escape to better worlds. She was currently reading the third Harry Potter book and really enjoying it.

She closed the book reluctantly when a guard unlocked her cell and said "You have a visitor."

Angel was the only person that ever visited her, and she didn't expect to see anyone else. She almost gasped with surprise when she saw it was Dawn. The kid wasn't exactly a kid anymore; she looked even too mature for her age. She didn't look just mature, she looked really sad.

"Hello, Faith."- she said when she picked up the phone.

"Hey… Never expected to see you here."

"Yeah… I'm sorry I never visited till now. I…"- Dawn choked up a little, and blinked tears away.

"Dawn… what's wrong?"- Faith asked, but she feared she already knew the answer.

"It's Buffy… She's dead."

Faith thought she might hear Dawn say that, but the harsh reality of it still made her feel like she got stabbed again, repeatedly.

She couldn't even say she was sorry to hear that, she thought it would sound stupid. She felt so frozen and just stared at Dawn, unable to speak. Now she'd never have a chance to make things right with her. And that's the only thing she thought about- about making things better, about doing amends.

"Faith?"- Dawn asked, when she realized that Faith wasn't really there with her anymore. She looked like a part of her died.

"When?"- Faith whispered a minute later.

"A week ago. I couldn't really bring myself to do anything for a week. But, before she'd gone to the final battle against Glory, she'd told me something she never told anyone. That's why I'm here now. To give you her letters."

"Letters?"

"Yeah. Well, I had to give them to the guard, so you'll get them when you get to your cell. I never read them, but I know the gist.

"Dawn, I… Now that you said she'd died a week ago… I felt it. I felt it happen. I thought I was just getting down with something, but… I was ok like ten minutes later. I should have known. It was like… I couldn't take a proper breath and I slid down to the floor, gasping. I shivered all over and felt like I was being electrified. I felt her die."- she covered her mouth with her hand and sobbed quietly.

She hated crying in front of people, she never let anyone see her cry, so she just mumbled something incoherent, motioned to the guard that she was done and headed back to her cell without looking at Dawn again.

The guard gave her two letters and she opened the first when she sat down on the bed. She was nervous and she lit a cigarette.

She inhaled a few deep drags and started reading. She knew she'd hold on to those letters forever, no matter if she liked what they contained or not.

 _Dear Faith_

 _If you're reading this, it means I'm dead._

 _I'm sorry I never visited you, I couldn't bring myself to see you all locked up. I always thought of you as a force that just couldn't be contained. But, you're keeping yourself in between those walls, we both know if you wanted to get out, you would easily do it. I'm proud of you for doing this. It's just… I'm dead, and Sunnydale doesn't have a Slayer anymore. You're THE Slayer, Faith. The world needs you. I know it's a huge thing to ask, but there's no one else who can do it._

 _I told Willow and Dawn about this, and if you do get out, Willow will cast a spell, no one will ever even know you were in jail. I owe you that much._

 _I'm sorry we didn't have time to become friends again._

 _Love, B._

It hurt to read this, and Faith felt shaken up, but she opened the second letter, wondering what that one was about.

 _Dear Faith_

 _I'm preparing for the biggest fight ever. I'm going up against a freaking god. Glory kicked my ass every time I faced her and I can't help feeling I might not survive this battle._

 _There are a few things you should know, just in case I never have a chance to tell you._

 _I'm so sorry about everything. I should have tried harder when you pushed me away. I should have done so many things differently. I never forgave myself for stabbing you._

 _When you first came to Sunnydale, and when Angel got back, I got so confused and scared because I had feelings for you. It was easier to just go back to him than face them. Sometimes I thought you had feelings for me, but when all the shit went down, I figured I just took your flirting too seriously and that I never had a chance in hell with you._

 _I put you into a coma then, and spent weeks just thinking if you'd ever wake up and forgive me. Then Riley came along, and he was your complete opposite, so I started going out with him- to get you out of my head. When I heard you woke up, I felt hopeful, I thought maybe you didn't remember anything and maybe we had another shot at being at least friends. I quickly understood that you weren't very fond of that idea. Anyway, you know what happened, and how it all kinda exploded on that roof top in L.A. I was really mad and hurt and I was a bitch to Angel, cause I was jealous that you let him help you, but pushed me away._

 _Faith… I never stopped thinking about you. I wish you were here, to fight by my side. Maybe I'd stand a chance against Glory if you were here. The Chosen Two… we really perfected the synchronized slaying. I miss patrolling with you. You made it more fun, and I can admit it now- slaying always made me horny too. Especially if you were slaying with me. If I survive this fight, I promise I will come see you._

 _The last, but not the least- definitely not the least- I love you._

 _B._

Faith realized she was crying when she finished the letter. She couldn't believe it. Buffy loved her? She wanted to kick herself for being such a bitch to her, for ruining every chance…

 _We could have been happy together._ \- she thought and slammed the wall so hard her fist bled.

"I love you too, B. I always will."- she whispered, wishing Buffy could hear her.

 _And Baby it's you I remember when I hear that song,_ _  
_ _Singin' out the chorus till your voice was gone_ _  
_ _It's you I remember every time I hear that song_ __

 _Darling, It's you I remember with your Red Dress on,_ _  
_ _Dancing in the moonlight till the break of dawn._ _  
_ _It's you I remember dancing with your Red Dress on_ _  
_ _Dancing with your Red Dress on_

 _I don't know the game we're playing,_ _  
_ _You and I were on to something_ _  
_ _How did we fall apart,without asking ourselves why?_ __

 _Lookin' back I can't help thinkin'_ _  
_ _That somewhere I had just stopped runnin'_ _  
_ _I would have held you close, and never said goodbye._


End file.
